DEALING WITH A SLACKER BRIDESMAID

In case you missed it, here is the blog post I wrote for Wedding Recycle as a guest blogger this month!

Choosing your bridesmaids is a big deal. Your bridesmaids might be your sisters, best friends, or even coworkers. Whoever you chose, you are telling them how much they mean to you and you want them to stand next you to as you make the biggest decision of your life. As you make your way to the alter, of course, you want their support, love, and help. Now, what do you do when one or all of your bridesmaids are slacking off and not helping you? This is a tricky situation as you are probably getting more and more mad with your bridesmaid's lack of help but you are afraid of losing a friend. Here are some suggestions on what to do:

1. Ask yourself if you are being reasonable.

If you had a "nightmare" and you called your bridesmaid at 3:00 am asking her to call your wedding decorator to change the color of your reception table cloths, you are being unreasonable. Your bridesmaid has every right to ignore you at 3:00 am. You better hope that your bridesmaid forgives you and talks to you the next day.

If you asked your bridesmaid to come wedding gown shopping with you and she had to reschedule four different times, I would say you are being reasonable in your assessment that your bridesmaid is a slacker. Or, she has something going on in her life that you don't know about. So, go to the next point.

2) Have an honest conversation

Remember, before your bridesmaid was "your bridesmaid," she was "your friend." Have an honest conversation with her to see what is going on in her world. Maybe she is stressed out at work, maybe she has some family issues going on, or maybe she is in a new relationship. Whatever the case, try to see what is most current in her life. Don't approach her with telling her what she hasn't been doing for you. Likely, her world doesn't revolve around yours.

3) Make a decision

Decide whether or not you still want her as your bridesmaid and whether she is up for it. If it sounds like she has a lot going on in her life at the moment, politely offer her the opportunity to back out of her role. It might be best for your friendship. If you decide that it was a misunderstanding and she is up for the role (or job), clean the slate and assume that she will be on board from now on. Don't let past feelings or anger get in the way of enjoying wedding planning with the help of your bridesmaids. Remember, after the wedding, you still want to be friends.

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