Recently, I was having a lunch date with a girlfriend that is trying to get pregnant. She really wants a child but made the comment “but my eggs are old.” I told her “yes, but as long as they are not rotten, you are good.” After we were done laughing at the top of our lungs in a restaurant. I gave her the honest truth. (We are the same age.) I told her that I was a new old mom, it is not easy but it does have it’s perks.
DOWNSIDE OF BEING AN OLD MOM
1) You will need more tests done. It starts when you fill out your first questionnaire at your doctor’s office and they discreetly put a circle around your age. Not a red flag (yet) but it does mean they will have to take more care of you and check more things out. One of the things that I had to do was an amniocentesis. There isn’t an obligation to do this but it does give you more accurate answers. The process is quick but terrifying (for me).
2) You will feel your age as the pregnancy goes on. You may feel more tired, sweatier, and puffier. Younger moms will be wearing sleek dresses with a cute bump in the front after they have just done a run over lunch. You want to hate them but you can’t because you can’t reverse time. The only thing you can think about is every pregnancy is different. Oh another thing, you will look around the waiting room at a medical clinic and notice you might be (and maybe actually are) the oldest pregnant person in the room.
3) Your body won’t bounce back quickly. Giselle bounced back from her pregnancy and was walking the runway in an outrageous short amount of time. This will not be you. Everything will take longer. They tell you that pregnancy weight will come off eventually but that eventually will be longer for you. Unless you are super disciplined like Giselle.
UPSIDE OF BEING AN OLD MOM
1) Your life experiences helps. When I became a mom, a lot of people were surprised by how much I didn’t know. Yeah, I have life experiences but I have no experience as a mom. Don’t worry though, your life experiences do come in handy. You won’t necessarily freak out over every little thing because you know how to research things, ask questions, and seek help. When one way doesn’t work (the way you were taught), you are able to improvise a solution.
2) You just don’t give a crap. By this I mean what other people think. Something happens once you hit your 30’s. You realize how you prioritize things and people in your life and you really don’t care about what others think of you and your decision. This is a huge help when you get those looks of judgment from other people when you are breastfeeding in public; letting your child suck on a soother; or when she has a total meltdown in the middle of a high end shopping center. Nope, don’t care. No shame.
3) You are more financially capable. If you have been working hard up and saving money right up until pregnancy, you should have a pretty good nest saved up. This is a huge upside. You will be able to afford the best of the best (if you feel you need it) in equipment, clothing, entertainment, extra-curricular activities, and schooling.
Being an old mom can have its ups and downs, but that is true for any mom and parent, at any age. Embrace it and enjoy every moment of motherhood.
This blog post was originally posted at Milk + Confetti. Check out the site for more mom related stories and advice.