Among the million things I forget on a regular basis (brush teeth, put on deodorant, grocery list, etc) and random basis (scheduling a dental appointment, picking up developed pictures, registering for toddler gymnastics, etc), there is one main thing I have forgotten after being a mom....
....that my partner matters and I need to connect with him too.
Like the picture above, we are often too busy looking ahead and at our daughter, we have forgotten to look at the other person. As two working professionals, we have gotten to the point of running the household like a business partnership. We each have our roles and responsibilities. We are held accountable to the things we do or don't. Performance measures are also conducted periodically, in the form of arguments.
I'm sure we are not alone. Most of the time is spent:
1) Keeping our kid alive and happy;
Yes, we run an effective household but, when was the last time we paid attention to each other as the role of a spouse? I honestly don't remember. Often we are reminded to reconnect after we have an argument and kept/hurt feelings are spoken; or when we hear of another friend breaking up with his/her spouse. This isn't enough.
This other person is supposed to be the love of your life so why are you putting him at the bottom of your to-do list? Why does this person only get some of your time and attention when you are well-rested (huh??) and in a great mood? These are hard questions to ask but you really have to ask yourself them. When you do, you will put things back in perspective and start moving forward in a more positive direction.
I asked myself these questions and learned:
1) Asking about his day shows I care and are interested about his life outside of home.
2) Offering to help him with something shows I want to be a team and help lighten his load.
3) Thanking him shows I acknowledge his hard work for our family.
4) Showing him affection shows that I still desire him.
5) Sharing what goes on in my life shows I want him part of my future.
Not saying any of this is easy or works wonders but at least I am trying to show him that he matters. What do you do to show your loved ones that they matter to you?