I posted my 2017 New Years Resolution because I wanted to be held accountable to them and I could reference back to what they were in the first place. My mid-year recap was a little check up on myself to see how I was doing with them (and whether some was just not going to happen.) Now that we are at the end of the year, here are my results:
RESOLUTION #1: TAKE BETTER CARE OF MYSELF
Did better on this resolution after I let go of judgments. Things that are weird to others, was “my” normal. I wore more clothes than anybody this summer because I was comfortable. I started to wear a scarf in early September also for warmth. I went to bed at 8:40pm on nights I was really tired (despite my partner snickering it is afterall a "school night.")
I got help from professionals and put my mind at ease. Finally, went to see my doctor with all the aliments that has worried me forever - turns out I don’t have a tumor in my head or skin cancer on my legs. Phew. Also, went to my dentist to get a tooth fixed that has been bothering me for nine months. Started getting massages atLIV Yoga on a regular basis and not feel it is a luxury, rather than a necessity for me.
In general, I took better care of me based on me. Not based on how others think I should be. I was sick a lot less, stood up taller, and smiled more.
RESOLUTION #2: READ MORE BOOKS
I achieved my resolution of reading more books but didn’t hit my goal of 12 books. It is pretty hard to read a book at night if you go to bed at 8:40pm some nights. (Refer to previous resolution.) Might have to schedule time during the day to read. or explore what audio books are. I know, I’m so behind the times.
MOMGOAL #1: FEEL GUILTY LESS OFTEN
If I was getting marks, I think I got a solid 80% on this momgoal. Nothing was really achieved until much later in the year. Two scenarios contributed to this:
First, for my birthday, my partner bought me a Learn to Crochet class from STASH. I have wanted to go to a class for three years but didn’t because I didn’t want to be away from Grace. He got the class for me and A FRIEND. He said I should take some time for myself and spend it with a friend. He also said it will be good for him and Grace to figure things out too.
Second, Grace turned into a whining nightmare almost overnight and mornings were awful. She would whine and cry for 40 minutes. Everyone would be late for work and dayhome. My partner drops her off and I thought I was helping by staying behind to console her. We had a talk about this and he said I should just leave for work at my regular time regardless of what is happening with her. I told him I can’t because I feel like a shitty parent to leave her crying and a shitty partner for leaving him with “that.” (We call her “that” behind her back sometimes.) He told me not to feel shitty or guilty, she will likely not remember the whole ordeal, and I will still be her first choice parent at the end of the day. Knowing all of this, I would kiss her tear filled face goodbye and left. I felt bad less and less as I got to work. I knew she was in good hands.
MOMGOAL #2: BAKE A CAKE FOR HER BIRTHDAY
Huge ambitions with this one but quickly realized that I suck at it. I really enjoyed the decorating part but never quite got the baking part (which should have been the star of the project.) My confidence really took a hit when Grace called a cake I made, a pie.
I had another reality check as Grace’s birthday came closer and I had this conversation with my partner:
Him: So…what are we doing for Grace’s birthday cake?
Me: Uh, I’m going to make it.
Him: Maybe we should have two cakes for her birthday….
Me: Like one for adults and one for kids?
Him: Like one for looking and one for eating.
Point taken, I really shouldn’t make a cake for guests to eat. I opted to buy a cake undecorated and decorated it myself. Grace was happy with it regardless. I didn’t have to stress over making it and didn’t have to stress about our guests getting sick from it.
While I likely got a big flat 0% on this momgoal, I took care of myself (resolution #1) and felt less guilty about it (momgoal #1.)
NEW THINGS THAT HAPPENED THIS YEAR
I started sewing again and learned how to crochet. Both of these things are considered “vintage crafts” but I absolutely love (the latter one of) them. I also learned of podcasts the last quarter of the year. This has been life changing for me in general and as an entrepreneur. I binged listened to Pat Flynn, Mom Blog School, and Amy Porterfield. I can't wait for 2018!!